Last week, I had an opportunity to witness an incredible moment of community at our Orthodox Allies Training in Detroit. Towards the end of our time together, one woman raised her hand to speak. Her voice was full of emotion and she began to tear up as she shared that one of her children had come out as gay several years ago, but she had never felt safe to share that in front of so many people. For years, she had only talked about it with a few close friends. She felt that the community as a whole wouldn’t accept her son, and so she remained closeted about his identity.
Our allies training showed her that this didn’t have to be the case. Nearly 40 people, from a range of local shuls, showed up and revealed that they wanted a more LGBTQ+-inclusive community. This mom felt seen, supported, and held by the community. Her burden was suddenly lighter because she didn’t have to carry it alone. She now had a new community surrounding her.
Eshel’s Orthodox Allies Trainings focus on fostering understanding and empathy for the Orthodox LGBTQ+ experience, and providing allies with actionable steps they can take to foster belonging. Participating in one of our trainings requires some to leave their comfort zone. No one knows who will be there. The group is mostly formed through word of mouth. Some have an LGBTQ+ child, niece, or nephew. Some are LGBTQ+ themselves and want to learn how they can take action. Others don’t have a personal connection, but are there to learn how they can make their community better.
With each training, we are sowing a brighter future. Each of the allies who attend will go back to their institutions – shuls, day schools, camps, and organizations – with new tools to foster greater LGBTQ+ inclusion.
Each training is different, reflective of the diversity of Orthodox communities across the country. We respond to the unique hashkafa and needs of the community. I am so excited to continue working with our new allies in Detroit, and see what grows as a result of their efforts. Our movement expands with each community that we train – let us know if you’d like to see an ally training in your community.
Miryam Kabakov
Executive Director