After trying for five years to dissuade lawmakers in Missouri from enacting laws he believed would endanger his son and other transgender youth in the state, Russel Neiss finally admitted defeat.
The state’s ban in 2023 on transgender medical care for minors devastated Neiss, but it also came with something of an upside for him: no more sacrificing his family’s time to testify at the Missouri statehouse. No more sitting politely with his son while enduring hurtful comments from officials.
The battle was over, and it was time to find somewhere else to live — a state without legislation that could lead to loss of custody over his son, or the denial of medical care. But not just any haven for transgender youth would do. It also had to be a place where the family could continue to live as Orthodox Jews, with a synagogue that wouldn’t shun their child.
“Trying to figure out where to go, we counted 10 Orthodox communities nationwide that might accept our family,” Neiss said, noting that he consulted a list of LGBTQ-friendly congregations compiled by a group called Eshel. “There are about four places that we can afford, and maybe one place where we actually wanted to live.”