It’s easy to look at Purim and see a story opposing extremes – either very quiet, with hidden identities and secret meetings, or loud with parades in the streets, month-long parties, and even a regional war. There’s also the lavish extravagance of the Persian empire, juxtaposed with Mordechai decreeing Jewish people wear rags and fast. In fact, we talk a lot about turning extremes on their head, “V’Nahafoch Hu.” The story doesn’t end when the Jewish people successfully avoid their annihilation, in the seventh chapter of the megillah – instead it ends with the Jews’ rise to power, with Mordechai taking Haman’s place.
Throughout Jewish history, our celebrations have played with this theme of “v’nahafoch hu,” with our traditions of lavish costumes and questionable amounts of alcohol. But at the core of Jewish identity, are we a people that gloat? Celebrates to extremes? The Torah teaches us so much about humility and righteousness. It’s hard to believe any Jewish holiday – even the topsy-turvy one- is meant to suddenly turn that value on its head.
On the flip side, Purim to me can feel like Jewish pride. We dress up in costumes, read a story about how we were persecuted and then victorious, celebrate our freedom and coming out of the closet the Ahasuerian empire tried to force us into. For LGBTQ+ Jewish people, both in and out of the closet, it’s an opportunity to be free, be someone else, express different parts of ourselves, and be joyous. After generations of persecutions, which continue to this day, don’t we deserve to let go, have fun, and enjoy ourselves? As Jews and as LGBTQ+ people?
While the Purim story highlights the extremes, the true Purim message lies in finding balance. It’s not turning everything on its head for the sake of chaos, or getting so disoriented we don’t know what we’re celebrating, but it’s about restoring a world where we can continue to live in freedom and peace. After Haman villainized Jews from his very public platform, Mordechai being placed in that position restores balance. He wasn’t out to be a hero or run the country, simply to undo the damage that had been done.
The four obligations of Purim – gift giving, charity, a festive meal, and reading the Megillah, are not about celebrating our win, but about taking care of each other and reaffirming our traditions. While on a trip to Israel recently, I met members from the Be’er Sheva Pride House. After October 7, 2023, they immediately shifted their work from supporting the local LGBTQ+ community to also giving back to those around them, by distributing goods and helping to rebuild neighboring communities. To me, that’s the Jewish spirit of Purim – one of giving to each other, not just celebrating ourselves.
This year’s theme for Eshel’s NY Community LGBTQ+ Purim Party is Defying Haman: A Wicked Queer Purim. There are many parallels between the Wicked and Purim stories – Ahasueros being the Wizard and Haman as Madame Morrible are particularly amusing to consider. But the most interesting parallel I see is that of seeking balance – between good and evil, right and wrong, humility and pride. Elphaba and Glinda find the glory and celebrations in Oz were covering up a darker injustice, just as the glory and wealth of Persia covered Haman’s evil and corrupt ways. In both stories, it takes two to restore balance to their world, one from the inside, and one as an outcast, like Esther and Mordechai.
It would be too easy to take a victory lap every time we successfully avoid persecution. LGBTQ+ people are seeing today firsthand how easy and quickly our celebrations and progress can be stripped away from us. Jewish people are seeing how difficult it is to hold on to balance and nuance, and not to fall prey to the good versus evil narrative being painted by the modern world. This Purim, it should be our goal to continue seeking balance in our celebrations, because in that balance is where we find joy and peace, not in the extremes. The true spirit of V’Nahafoch Hu is turning things upside down so that we get back to the balance of living in a world ruled by peace and justice.
Ely Winkler