The grape harvest is upon us! It is but one of many socially significant occasions to the Jewish people that coincide with the auspicious date of 15 Av, or the minor holiday otherwise known as Tu B’Av.
Tu B’Av is more commonly known as a day of love. On this date in Old Judea, single women would venture out into the mature grape fields, adorned in white, to seek out husbands. Think of this ritual as an ancient debutante ball, where eligible maidens would officially “come out” to society. A deb-Tu-tante ball, if you will.
The holiday also marks a transition, one from mourning to joy. Tu B’Av offers us a bridge out of three weeks incubating with grief and sadness, and a respite before the solemnity of Elul—a calm before the storm. A moment to allow ourselves to believe, even if for a short time, that there is safety in seeking love and life with it.
White adornments traditionally signal a projection of purity in Jewish tradition, but on Tu B’av, The bachelorettes who waded into the grape fields wore white for a different reason: to conceal their class. Unburdened by the social significance exemplified in expensive dyes and jewelry, the women of Judea absolved themselves of material beauties, venturing out into the world in their most essential physical forms. No frills. This allowed for an environment wherein potential suitors would approach the women without bias.
As LGBTQ+ Orthodox Jews, the notion of coming out without frills and being approached without bias in return can feel foreign. Coming out for us often feels more akin to wading into the wilderness than it does venturing out into a grapefield. How are we to entertain the notion that we will find love in the midst of it all?
Some deeper diving into the history of Tu B’Av may hold the answer. Traditional white attire is not the only dismantling of class associated with 15 Av; the holiday also celebrates the dismantling of another social barrier: the declaration that intermarriage between the tribes of Israel was henceforth permitted. It also marks a time of renewal: the time when the desert generation died off and the new generation of Israelites was ready to enter the Promised Land.
As we usher in Tu B’Av, let this holiday be an opportunity for social change and collective renewal; A time of self-acceptance and recognition of everybody’s spiritual essence, in every form it appears; a time of love and liberation.
Mendel Weintraub