The journey for most Orthodox parents with a child who is LGBTQ is long and emotional. The social and mental journeys we go through can be difficult, stressful, and joyous. However the most rewarding journey many of us take is the physical trip to Pearlstone Retreat Center for the Eshel Annual Parent Retreat. What began eight months ago as the planning committee gathered turned into a four day retreat filled with inspiring learning sessions, fun social programs, and a restful Shabbat – all while surrounded by a loving and welcoming community.
We arrived on Thursday with our literal and metaphorical baggage. We were ninety five people strong, including twenty two first time attendees. As we all sat together in our opening circle, Miryam Kabakow, Eshel’s Executive Director, grounded us in the here and now asking us to let go of our anxieties and think about what we hoped to gain from this weekend. This prepared us for what would be a weekend of community, acceptance and inspiration.
The retreat is created with every parent in mind. Whether your child just came out or is married, if your child is trans or a lesbian, if your child remains connected to Orthodoxy or not, there is a place for you at the Eshel Parent Retreat. The learning sessions include an array of topics and the informal conversations throughout the weekend lend themselves to creating lasting bonds and a tight community. During one session I attended, we spoke about the repetitive arc of coming out and how what we say changes over time. I felt heard and validated as I realized we all have to make a split second decision about what to say and how to say it, whether it is to our child, to a friend, or a stranger. In another group, I heard a participant say “when I step into the retreat I feel like I am taking off a heavy backpack and I am lighter and completely accepted.”
The Eshel Parent Weekend is a unique experience bringing together people from all over the country, in different stages of their journey, who look forward to this Shabbat all year. Now in its 12th year, the veteran parents radiate hope for all the new parents. There is a place to find community, get help when needed and move forward together: Eshel.
Elly Bauman, parent