It’s that time of year: organizations, particularly at the end of the calendar year, will talk about making a year end gift to their work, to make an impact. But what does it mean to make an impact? Where does one even start? At Eshel we talk about making an impact in Orthodoxy, strengthening Orthodoxy with LGBTQ+ inclusion. But how do we do that?
This week’s parsha, Vayigash, provides the perfect example of the first, and arguably most important, step. Yehuda approaches Yoseph, who had been unwilling to reveal his true identity, hoping to appeal for his brother. In this moment, Yehuda is an example of allyship, brotherhood, Jewish leadership, and advocacy. By making himself vulnerable, Yehuda helps Yoseph to let his guard down and feel comfortable enough to reveal himself, ultimately reuniting the brothers. The term “Vayigash” is unique, and connotes a specific kind of approach. It is used in two other moments: Avraham pleading to Hashem on behalf of Sdom, and Eliyahu HaNavi pleading with Hashem at Har Carmel. In all three of these instances, the one who approaches demonstrates humility and leads with empathy, hoping for one in power to change their decision.
Yehuda’s approach to Yoseph serves as a model for how Eshel makes its impact within Orthodoxy. Yehuda was willing to reach out to someone who he felt didn’t see or care for him, to make himself vulnerable in order to save his brother’s life. At Eshel, we use our own experiences and stories, and the stories of those we serve, to make an impact. By demonstrating vulnerability, in sharing how so many of us have been made to feel within Orthodoxy, we help community leaders to see us, to have empathy, and to engage in making change.
When we approach Rabbis, school leaders, Federations, and key players in Orthodox communal organizing, we follow Yehuda’s approach of “Vayigash”. Our Eshel parents who stand up so that their children can feel welcomed and supported not just in their homes, but in their communities, they use the approach of “Vayigash.” Eshel’s friends and allies, who stand up for us in places that don’t yet see that we deserve to belong, use the approach of “Vayigash.”
Every time someone tells our story, whether of their own family or what they learned from someone else at an Eshel program, they are echoing Yehuda’s vulnerability. This willingness to take the first step, to humbly reveal who we are and who we love, is what opens doors. As Eshel continues to approach the Orthodox community with openness and a demand for change, we pave the way for those in power to respond and change their minds.
Ely Winkler