Eshel has been working with shuls and schools for more than a decade now on policy issues. In 2018 we encouraged schools to “take the pledge,” a document drafted by an Orthodox high school student and his principal. It promised that when students come out of the closet in high school, the school would not summarily expel them, would protect them from bullying, would make sensitive counsel available and would actively include them in the social, religious and academic life of the school. Some schools adopted the pledge, and others adapted it, thanks to its strong support among Orthodox parents and day school alumni.
The harder task has always been translating these improvements into curricula. Even the schools that have been supporting the students that come out of the closet have hesitated to put same-sex attraction, love and partnering into any formal curricular framework.
The argument put forth by principals and teachers has been simple. In Orthodox schools the anxieties around teenage sexual expression have largely shut down sex education in these environments. If sensitive education around heterosexual relationships is off the table, then it should be no surprise that homosexual relationships are beyond unmentionable.
The absence of thoughtful moral, religious and conceptual engagement on these issues is all the more problematic given that any eleven year old has access online to much that is deeply problematic if not destructive. Abandoning both our straight and gay teenagers to the internet and its dark corners is surely not the answer.
I have spent time this year in my capacity as Director of Education meeting with top educators in hopes of understanding the needs on the ground. Together with Yeshiva day school partners, we are gathering the curricular efforts of young Orthodox educators who are responding to the challenge. A new curriculum circulating begins with the Talmudic tale in masechet Berachot. It tells the story of student a bit too eager to learn:
Rav Kahana entered and lay beneath Rav’s bed. He heard Rav chatting and laughing with his wife, and seeing to his needs, i.e., having relations with her. Rav Kahana said to Rav: The mouth of Abba, Rav, is like one whom has never eaten a cooked dish, i.e., his behavior was lustful. Rav said to him: Kahana, you are here? Leave, as this is an undesirable mode of behavior. Rav Kahana said to him: This too is Torah, and I must learn it. (Berachot 62a)
Of course what is remarkable is that we possess a tradition that is not squeemish at all. In fact, the Jewish tradition celebrates the creation and with it God’s gift of pleasure and its power to bind people in committed love. It is also aware that those same powers can be destructive as well. As our schools begin the end of another school year, we must make sure students are taking the lessons of leaning into our learning and traditions so they grow into mature, thoughtful, loving and self aware adults.
By Rabbi Steve Greenberg