What is it? How do I know if it’s for me?
Eshel’s Parent Retreat is a supportive space for Orthodox parents with children who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or questioning. You may be feeling a lot of things about having an LGBTQ child. Parents come to this retreat for many different reasons, and they arrive in many different places. This retreat offers a weekend away to connect with others who are on the same journey.
Is it confidential?
Yes. Completely.
What is shared at the retreat stays at the retreat. All attendees sign our confidentiality agreement to not share the identities of others. Parents are expected to respect one another’s privacy, and stories shared over the weekend are not repeated outside of it.
Photos are handled thoughtfully and carefully. Pictures are only taken with explicit permission, and consent is checked on a person-by-person basis. No one is photographed without being asked, and no one is expected to be in photos.
That sense of trust is part of what allows people to be open, honest, and fully themselves for the weekend.
Is there a place where I can just be myself?
A lot of parents come to the retreat carrying more than one version of themselves. When they are in their own communities, they watch what they say. They decide which details feel safe to share with others, they think twice before mentioning certain parts of their family in Orthodox spaces.
More than one parent has told us that the retreat was the first time they felt fully comfortable walking into an Orthodox shul since their child came out.
At the retreat, parents talk openly. Not just about their LGBTQ child, but about all of their children. About family life, worries, joys, and questions. There is something powerful about being in a room where you do not have to explain yourself or edit your story before you speak.
What if I’m not okay with my child being LGBTQ?
Some parents come feeling steady. Others come feeling confused, conflicted, or still very much in process. All of that belongs.
You do not need to arrive with clarity or answers. You do not need to know what you think yet. The retreat is not about pushing parents toward a particular place. It is about creating space to listen, talk, and think honestly, at your own pace.
We’re doing fine. Is this still for us?
Many parents come when life feels relatively stable. Their child is okay. Their family is functioning. Things have settled into a rhythm.
That does not mean the journey is over.
Parenting an LGBTQ child is not one moment or one stage. It unfolds over years and sometimes decades. Some parents at the retreat have been navigating this for a very long time. For others it is brand new. New questions come up as children grow, as circumstances change, and as families move through different phases of life.
Some parents come because they want to be a support to others: either because no one was there for them when they needed it, or because someone was there to support them initially.
I already have support. What would this add?
Support matters. Feeling less alone matters. Many parents already have places where they can talk about what they are feeling.
The retreat builds on that. Parents do not just talk about feelings. They share experiences. They talk about what they have learned, what surprised them, and what they wish they had known earlier. There is a lot of wisdom in a room full of parents who have been living this for different lengths of time. There are also rabbinical and community leaders, staff and featured speakers whose wealth of educational content helps make the weekend so valuable.
My child is fine at home. Why would I need help beyond that?
For many families, the hardest moments do not happen at home. They happen in schools, camps, shuls, youth programs, adult communal life and other larger spaces.
Parents often find themselves asking questions they never expected to ask. What do I say to the school? How do I handle camp? How do I navigate shul life? When do I speak up and when do I wait?
The retreat creates space to talk through those situations with people who understand Orthodox communal life and who have been there before.
I love my child. What more is there to learn?
Love and acceptance are the foundation. And understanding your child’s lived experience often takes time.
Hearing from LGBTQ adults and from parents who are in all different stages helps parents see things they might not have noticed on their own. It helps put words to things children do not always know how to explain. It also helps parents think about the long term, not just what is happening right now.
Is this just for parents of one age group?
No. Parents come with children of all ages.
Some are parenting young kids. Some have teens. Some have adult children who are building their own lives. Some have children who are fully grown adults with families of their own. Each stage brings its own questions, and many of the same themes show up again and again over time.
One of the strengths of the retreat is that parents learn from people who are at different points along the way. It helps parents see what might be coming next and feel less alone wherever they are now.
What about cost?
We never want finances to be the reason a parent does not come to the retreat.
Thanks to a grant we received, we are able to offer a significant discount for first-time attendees. We are also committed to working with parents who need additional financial consideration. If cost is a concern, we encourage you to reach out privately. Those conversations are handled respectfully and discreetly.
Is this really Orthodox?
Yes. Eshel is an Orthodox organization. Halacha matters. Community matters.
The retreat does not deal in theory or ideology. It deals in real life. Parents come because they want a space that takes their Orthodox commitments seriously and also makes room for honest conversations about the realities their families face.
Will I actually fit in?
The retreat is planned by parents, for parents. Some people come feeling confident. Others come feeling unsure. Some talk a lot. Some mostly listen.
What creates the sense of camaraderie is that no one has to prove anything. Over the course of the weekend, conversations happen naturally during sessions, over meals, and in the quiet moments in between. Eshel is not a “members only” group. Many people come without ever having interacted with Eshel in the past. Many parents leave saying they did not realize how much they needed a space like this until they were in it.
No two parents arrive in the same place. What makes this weekend work is that they don’t have to.
You do not need to know exactly what you are hoping to get out of the retreat before you come. Parents arrive with different questions, different experiences, and different levels of certainty.
What they share is a desire to show up thoughtfully for their families and to do that within Orthodox life, not outside of it. If you are looking for a space where you can be yourself, learn from others, and feel less alone in the long arc of parenting, this weekend may be worth considering.
For details and registration, visit www.eshelonline.org/2026-parent-retreat/