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Beyond the Shabbos table: LGBTQ+ allyship as a communal responsibility
by Ely Winkler
Since Oct. 7, I have personally felt caught between my Jewish and LGBTQ+ identities, as though I have to take a stand on one side or another — choose between posting a slogan or a violent meme on my social media. I was isolated in spaces that were once warm and friendly, but this feeling was unfortunately not new to me.
A survey published by Eshel in February found that 44% of the 133 parents surveyed reported their children being treated differently in synagogue after they came out, with 67% reporting that their children felt they had no choice but to leave Orthodoxy. How can we be so worried about antisemitism from outside when children aren’t even safe in our own communities?
In May, Gila Romanoff of JQY poignantly highlighted in eJewishPhilanthropy that LGBTQ+ Orthodox Jews must be included and protected as part of the fight against antisemitism. She expressed fear that their voices, and their Judaism, were being lost.
While the examples of rejection are plentiful, the evidence of acceptance also cannot be ignored. In June, Eshel celebrated both its founding anniversary and Pride Month, and more than 500 community members, LGBTQ+ and allies alike — Orthodox rabbis, teachers, parents and more — lent their voices to inclusion for LGBTQ+ Orthodox people. They demonstrated the value of allyship by showing up at our celebration gala, listening to our stories and testimonials in person and on our website, and lending their support.
