Dr. Ann Stark (left), a Manhattan-based pediatric radiologist, and Aaron Kogut, a past Eshel board member, who lives in Manhattan, have “the talk” with Orthodox Jewish parents at Eshel’s Parent’s Retreat. (Courtesy of Eshel)
Coming out as part of the LGBTQ community can be an isolating experience, and this can be especially true for people involved with more conservative religious groups. But there is still support to be found in those communities.
A recent retreat held at Pearlstone on March 28-31, organized by the Orthodox LGBTQ group Eshel, aimed to buck the stereotype of Orthodox parents not being supportive of their LGBTQ children by offering resources for these parents, helping them connect with their children and working to make the Orthodox community a more inclusive place.
At Eshel’s 2024 Parent Retreat, a sold-out crowd of over 100 Orthodox parents attended classes and spoke with LGBTQ educators and rabbis about how they can be better allies and support their LGBTQ children and other community members. Speakers included Rabbi Hyim Shafner of Kesher Israel: The Georgetown Synagogue; Maharat Rori Picker Neiss, senior vice president for community relations at the Jewish Council for Public Affairs; and social worker Motti Salzberg. Eshel has been hosting this retreat since 2013.
“We were trying to figure out how to create belonging within Orthodox communities for LGBTQ people who grew up in those communities,” explained Miryam Kabakov, Eshel’s executive director and co-founder. “By and large, those people leave and don’t want to come back. It really tears families apart, and the parents lose faith in their leaders and what they believe in.”